my minds gone have crazy

canvas

keep my eye on the prize at the end of the road. that, for now, is my only goal.

"hating you is the most exhausted and i dont want to do it anymore"

3 tests next. time to get off the hype and onto the grind. the weather makes me wanna lie in bed all night watching greys anatomy. & i dont wanna work. i am 3pm call in and i got a bad feeling i am going to have to work. therefore, i will be at work in a pissed off/wanna go home mood. i suck!

Dane Cook

HP Pavilion At San Jose, San Jose, CA
Wed, Dec 5, 2007 07:30 PM

guess who's going?!!?!!?!

a jist of the grey's

"the people that suffer the most are the people that dont know what they want"

"the one thing that you want the most, is the one thing you cant have"

"pain. you just have to fight through it, because the truth is you cant out run it. and life always makes more"

stumped

i saw the blue angels this weekend in SF. i even met a few navy men. =) thats always nice!

i have been just trying to get my mind off stuff lately. but it seems like the farther away i get from it, the more i think about it. you know whats funny too? how cleaning helps me when i am stressed. i take my aggression out on my damn living room or bedroom or something! seems so silly to me, but beneficial i guess!?

body worlds, a walk with dinosaurs, dane cook, alcatraz, & teatro zinzanni.
so much i wanna do. so much i wanna see. & so much damn money it all takes!

i LOOOVE my buddy. andres, somehow you always come to my rescue. gracias

i just gotta keep remembering..

when times get rough and things don't go your way,
to pick up your head because there is always a new day.
it will make me stronger and wiser for the future.

dreams

Once you begin to realize the power of dreams, you’ll get to the point where your hungry for more.

yesterday maria and i went to borders to look for a book for her to read. i stumbled upon a book of dreams. a huge 700 paged book of dreams. i bought it and been looking it over for things i have ever dreamed about. as i was running over the pages i glanced over a section for a mystic knot, and although i knew nothing of whateverthefuck a mystic knot is, i knew that the familiarity of those words have been a reoccurring dream of mine.

before i moved out of my parents house i would always have this dream of a knot. a never ending knot that would get bigger, then smaller, but never stopped, it just kept going. what a weird dream huh? yeah i know, i had a hard time trying to explain to myself what the fuck it was when i woke up puzzled. i knew it was something but i could never find the right words until now.

so while reading my book it said this mystic knot can be one of 3 things:

(not exactly what i dream about, but you get the idea)

1. traditionally, the mystic knot had no beginning and no end. its basic meaning suggests an unsolvable problem. we probably need to leave such a problem until it is solved by time.
2. the mystic knot usually appears as we are attempting to understand ourselves and our relationship with the spiritual
   
3. the mystic knot suggests infinity

yeah i know it may sound weird but it makes a lot of sense. so i've had this reoccurring dream of a mystic knot for years and ever since i was a little girl. now, the "problem" that i had dealt a lot, but not entirely, with why i moved out in the first place. and then later, seeing how my problem took on its first stepping stone to progress, i moved back home 7 months later. since i moved out and returned i have yet to have another mystic knot dream. hmm, i guess the saying "time heals all wounds" was right all along. =) i am happy to back in the comfort of my own casa with my familia where my problem is all in the works to being solved.